The Rise of Hipsters & How We Can Stop Them

I’ll get onto hipsters in a minute, but first, let me tell you a secret. Cynically Sound posts are written from a very specific part of my brain. A part which has been gnawed away at by scepticism & doubt. To get into the right headspace for writing a piece for Cynically Sound; I lather myself in Spice Girls CD’s, bathe in 3 Different Kinds of Babycakes, & wash it all off with the tears of one-hit wonders. Think of it as a musical version for the opening scene of 28 Days Later – and I’m the monkey.

But for last week’s post, I experienced this really weird feeling as I was writing. So I typed all of the symptoms into Google and it came up with this strange disease, now I’ll try and spell it right, but apparently what I was feeling was:
E-M-P-A-T-H-Y. Luckily a lot of people don’t suffer from it anymore – especially in this modern societal climate. I’m trying to treat it, as there’s simply no place for it in the Cynically Sound canon. However, this week is another balanced view, riddled with empathy. Although, rest assured, normal service shall resume next Wednesday.

Today we’re going to be discussing ‘hipsters’. At least, what it seemingly takes to be branded a hipster. Even just reading the word, you’ve already concocted a mental image of what one looks like. They’re male. They wear a funny little hat accompanied by an ironic t-shirt from a band that no-one has ever heard of. Their facial hair consists of nothing but a triangular tuft nestled under their bottom lip, a collection of pubes that wouldn’t look out of place on the genitals of a sexually liberated hippy from the 60’s. Then, when it comes to listening to music they’re like “ah yeah man like, I listen to everything and anything as long as it sounds good”. Which is bullshit. What they really mean is; “I like bands that are unpopular, and exclusively listen to alt-indie-synchro-rock-pop made by someone who plays an empty Heinz can as an instrument”.

Which is fine. Whatever you’re into. But this labelling is something that pisses me off.

Think of yourself as someone who listens to underground bands, or artists who dare to push the envelope of what we consider ‘music’, and you embrace the sub-culture they’re attached to. You go to their shows in shit pubs. You buy their merch just so they have the money to make a bit more music. All of your friends think they’re awful, so take the piss just for liking them.

On top of that, you have a pompous dickhead like me who writes about you, takes the piss out of your taste in music, and makes fun of the band you like.

Then suddenly. They make a song that goes ballistic. Everyone listens to it and praises them. The same people who 6 months ago wouldn’t even let you play their song through the aux lead, are blasting their newest release every chance they get. Now why do we get surprised when ‘hipsters’ start telling people they listened to the band first, or liked them before the band was popular? We’ve instilled that reaction because we resisted in the first place.

Of course it’s petty to claim ownership over listening rights to a band. Which is where a lot of the frustration comes for hipsters. But next time someone wants to introduce you to a new band, give it a chance. Even if it’s not your thing. Hear them out – literally. Take the lead from their 1960’s facial hair bush, and spread the love.